I battled with deStruct-O on the edge of the volcano he was trying to reactivate. Toxic gases plumed and rocks flew. Dodging a careening boulder, he ever so slowly lost his balance and toppled into the caldera. I swooped down, scooped him up and deposited him outside the hot zone for the Agency team to deal with, then plunged back into the lava to deactivate the magma enhancer.
My invulnerable skin wasn’t crisped by the volcano’s heat, but even superheroes have to give at least a grudging nod to the laws of thermodynamics: my body temperature rose precipitously and I fainted. I later learned that I’d fallen into some kind of protective hibernation state; Entangle-Man had to quantum teleport me out.
When I regained consciousness afterwards, the Agency scientists were apologetic.
“There’s so much about your physiology that we still don’t understand,” they said. I’d been dropped off on Earth by a mysterious species that had never been heard from again. I’d imprinted on the humans who found me and taken their form. On reaching puberty I’d manifested the powers that had led to my eventually becoming Teal Titan, defender of the people, protector of peace, all-around anti-villain.
Powers now contained in the body of … a thirteen-year-old?
“Your super-healing abilities apparently include some kind of rejuvenation process,” Dr. Needles explained. “The extra energy required for healing came at the cost of some of your mass and tachyons, so now you’re smaller and younger.”
“Is it going to wear off?” I asked. “Will I accelerate back to normal?”
“As far as we can tell, no. Your bone structure, circulatory system, and metabolism are consistent with what you had before at this apparent age, and now that you’re out of the coma, you’re developing at the same rate. Except for your brain, which didn’t revert.”
She wrinkled her nose at me sympathetically. Before, I’d thought she might be developing romantic feelings for me; now it looked like she wanted to pat me on the head.
“So I just have to grow up again?” I squeaked.
“I’m afraid so, Amina,” she said. “On the bright side, you won’t have to adjust to developing super-powers a second time. You still have those.”
It sucked. What could I do? I couldn’t go back to my civilian identity as a forensic accountant. My adoptive parents were long gone and I didn’t want to redo seventh grade anyway. In the years of growing up as an alien on Earth, I’d never felt more alone.
#
I tried resuming my usual superhero activities; it turned out that getting the Teal Titan uniform cut down was the easy part. What should have been a straightforward rescue involving an imperiled train nearly failed because my arms weren’t long enough to span the gap in the tracks. I had to call in one of my protégés for backup. She pulled off the rescue with ease and was embarrassed about it afterwards.
“I’m so sorry,” Metallo-Girl said. “This must be so frustrating for you.”
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I thought I could handle it. Thanks for showing up. You did a great job,” I tried to smile.
deStruct-O’s henchwoman broke him out of prison and they hatched a dastardly scheme involving a tsunami and a blue whale. When I showed up to foil them, he took one look at me and fell over laughing. At least I was able to get the power-dampening cuffs on him while he was writhing helplessly on the ground. I guess you could call that a win.
It wasn’t a win when, during a big team-up battle, the other heroes kept trying to protect me instead of advancing against Mr. Roboto’s evil android army.
“I’m still me! I’m still invulnerable!” I kept telling them, generating ultrasound waves in front of the surging mechanical collective in an attempt to confuse their sonic ranging. “Focus on them!”
It didn’t work. I was small and fragile-looking; ZapWoman and SilverSpark instinctively surrounded me with their force fields and it nearly cost us the battle when _they_ were surrounded by the android army. While we were all distracted, Dr. Iniquity managed to sneak into the Agency’s research lab and make off with the secret plans for the new base we were about to build. Amazing Boy tried a last-ditch gambit to use his magneto-powers against the clanking horde. It turned out the androids weren’t magnetic. Luckily it also turned out that Mr. Roboto had cheaped out and used low-capacity rechargeable batteries. The androids powered down in a collective _bloop_ just as they reached us.
#
Back at Agency HQ, we sat around the shiny conference table. I pounded my first in frustration, pulling my strength just before the glass started to crack.
“This can’t go on,” I said.
“You’re right,” SilverSpark replied. “I think we have to bench you while we focus on capturing Dr. Iniquity and recovering the plans.”
“Wait, that’s not what I meant!”
“Sorry, Amina, but we have to focus. We just can’t take the risk.”
So there I was. Amina Prakesh, aka Teal Titan, on-hiatus superhero and alien adult trapped in a mimicked human teenager’s body. Nothing to do except wait to grow up. I hung around Agency HQ, updating the accounting software, tinkering, participating in whatever studies the scientists could think of, and generally driving everyone to distraction.
#
Then the alien spacecraft showed up. It was a model no one recognized and used a transmission protocol Earth had never seen before. After the communication difficulties were sorted out, the ship made the usual “take us to your leader” requests. Luckily the Agency had finally gotten wise to how these events usually went down and managed to convince the UN to negotiate with the aliens at a distance rather than just letting them land in New York.
My colleagues were kept occupied preventing supervillains from trying to contact, capture, or destroy the ship. I got dispatched to UN headquarters as Agency liaison.
Thankfully the current Secretary General was a tiny woman who was familiar with being underestimated and very much appreciated a superhero she could look in the eye. Her negotiations with the aliens, however, were going nowhere.
“Send me,” I insisted to the Secretary General as we stood outside on her office’s balcony, looking up at the sky. “I’m small and non-threatening and there’s not much they can do to harm me.”
“I’m not comfortable sending you alone. They haven’t shown themselves, we don’t even know if they’re dangerous,” she said. “And I don’t want you to get hurt,” she added, showing that she was just as capable of over-protecting me as anyone else.
“Not you too,” I groaned. My hands tightened where they gripped the balcony railing. I smoothed out the crush marks with my thumbs.
The negotiations got more and more fractious and finally it was clear that drastic action was needed. I suited up and flew directly to the ship. There was no response when I banged on the hull. Maybe the aliens were surprised to see an apparent human breathing vacuum; UN attempts to conceal the existence of Earth’s superheroes and villains during the negotiations had worked.
My infrared vision could only partially penetrate the ship’s hull. I could see shapes moving inside but no details. My earpiece crackled with the signal that the translator software was online.
“Welcome to Earth,” I said. “What are your demands?”
“We come in search of travelling companionship,” they replied. “Beings whose physiology is compatible with our environmental conditions and who can tell us about Earth on the way to our next destination. Your leaders have been amazingly recalcitrant; they keep muttering about ‘little green men’ and shutting down the discussion. We’re not asking for much, but we will take companions by force if there are no volunteers.”
Apparently no one had mentioned the problem that a normal human would survive about five minutes in the poisonous phosphine-laced atmosphere on the aliens’ ship. Or the ultraviolet radiation that would give them cancer in a few weeks.
None of that would affect me, of course. I could go. I could do something productive for Earth while I grew back to my adult size. And who better to explain Earth culture to aliens, than another alien?
#
“You can’t go,” said ZapWoman. “We need you.”
“Sure I can, and no you don’t. You’ve benched me anyway, and there are enough of you to handle the current villain roster. This lets me do something useful, and maybe I’ll make it back here someday.”
“What will we do without you?” Metallo-Girl sniffed.
“Same thing you did before: fight for truth, justice, and … you know the drill.” I hugged her and hefted my traveling kit: twenty kilograms of hard drives with a copy of Wikipedia, the complete Netflix back list, and as much of the New York Public Library’s e-catalog as I could fit. No spandex, but I did bring my favorite teal sweater; eventually I’d be able to wear it again. I zoomed up through the atmosphere.
The spaceship hatch opened. I floated inside and the hatch closed behind me. Stepping into the hazy atmosphere of the ship, I could just make out the alien shape in front of me. Its form changed first into something human-like and then to something unrecognizable … or not. It was the same form as in the earliest photos in my Agency file, before I’d imprinted on humans.
“Welcome home.”